As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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