I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The feeling are messing with the penis
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
