i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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