Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
