You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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