I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
