Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize