You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
