i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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