i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
