I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
