David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
