btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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