Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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