No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
