I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
