they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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