Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
