As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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