this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
