i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
