is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
