i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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