You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
