I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
