I love black thongs
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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