Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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