so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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