i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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