I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize