Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize