In America we eat man semen.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
