I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
