we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
