In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
