Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize