none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Soap is not a condiment
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
