you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
