omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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