he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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