Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
