I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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