69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
