I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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