i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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