SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
