just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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