Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
