So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
