I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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