he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
