R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i've created a new STD.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
