i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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