im holly from the hills drunk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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