So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
