Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
soo... how was my night?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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