if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
